This will be a regular (translation: semi-regular) (translation: not regular at all, who even knows) feature where I make popcorn with the employees and ask them deep, personal questions about their lives. This way you’ll get to know us all a little better, and we won’t intimidate you so much with our blinding wit and general essence of awesome. The employees don’t know this, but I’ll also be evaluating their popcorn-making skills. Today I got together with Morgan, our fabulous account coordinator whose popcorn technique was very precise, very deliberate, and not unlike the flawless sculpting of Michelangelo’s David.
Do you have any secret obsessions?
Coconut oil popcorn, which is very specific, but it’s the only thing I make better than my fiancé. Also Kona Mocha iced coffee. I realize that’s also very specific.
What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s happened to you in the past week?
I went through a car wash with my bike rack on, which apparently you’re not supposed to do. I usually wash my own car, so it didn’t occur to me until it was too late. The guy waiting at the end could see me freaking out as my car came through. It was a life lesson I had to learn.
Do you sing in the car?
Oh, all the time. And in the shower.
Are you a good singer?
I’m an okay singer.
If we did a Gemba talent show, what would be your talent?
I would show people how to tune and wax their skis. My dad taught me, and I’ve kind of refined it to the level of fine art. I grew up ski racing, and my brother was on the U.S. ski team, and it’s way cheaper to do it yourself.
How long would you last in the zombie apocalypse?
I’m pretty confident I could run from them. And my fiancé is a geologist, so I feel like there’s gotta be something we can do with that in a post-apocalyptic world. That being said, I still wouldn’t last very long.
What movie can you watch over and over again?
What TV shows are you watching?
Scandal. Revenge. Also The Bachelorette, but my mom spoiled it for me.
What’s your favorite word?
I don’t know if I have a favorite word, but I do have a least favorite—”anew.” It just doesn’t even look like it belongs in the English language.
What would be the name of your memoir?
A Life in Morganisms. Morganisms are witty comments that come out of left field. Trademark forthcoming.
Tell us a story or anecdote that doesn’t usually come up in conversation.
I was running for Miss Michigan in 2011 and I accidentally wound up in Canada. We had been rehearsing all day in Port Huron—you know, the dance numbers, where you’re supposed to walk in your swimsuit and evening gown, that kind of thing. You learn everything you need to know during the day, and then perform it later that night. I was heading back to the hotel so I could get ready, and I put the hotel into the GPS on my phone and it sent me to the nearest one… which was, apparently, in Canada. I didn’t realize it until I was already on the bridge, because there was road construction and I was confused. By then it was 5 PM with traffic at a dead stop, and my show was in three hours. I didn’t even have my passport. I figured they’d just let me turn around, but no. They made me pull into customs and they checked my car. When they asked me if I had anything dangerous in the car, I told them, “Just high heels and rollers.” All said, though, the Canadian people very nice. They wrote down “Missed Michigan” for the reason I had gone into Canada. It was when I was trying to get back into the U.S. that I ran into problems. They detained me in a cell and did a background check, and I told them (with probably more sass than was strictly necessary) that I didn’t even have a parking ticket. They did let me go, but it was reluctant, like they thought I was guilty of something but they didn’t know what. When I finally, finally got back, I barely had enough time to curl my hair and finagle with these fake eyelashes I wasn’t used to wearing. I did make it, though. It went well, all things considered.