It’s Eggnog Day, and let’s face facts: eggnog is the pumpkin spice latte of December. We’ve discussed previously how pumpkin spice is basically experiential marketing in action. Well, eggnog is no different. How else would we know when we’re supposed to be up to our elbows in yuletide cheer? Eggnog tells us when it’s time to be merry, when it’s time to deck the halls, when it’s time to arrive fashionably late to the office Christmas party and eat way too many cookies considering we didn’t actually bring any food ourselves.
But eggnog, much like the pumpkin spice trend that swept the nation in 2008 and hasn’t looked back, has its pros and cons.
- Contains sugar, dairy products, and liquor. Sometimes cinnamon or nutmeg. Probably other stuff, too.
- What’s even actually in it? What’s the “other stuff”? Nobody knows. Nobody cares.
- Was historically popular with the aristocracy.
- Also, George Washington. At Mount Vernon, he served his up with rye whiskey, rum, and sherry. Only the bravest were tempted to sample it.
- Seriously, it tastes like Christmas feels.
- Froth mustaches.
- Once caused the Eggnog Riot of 1826. 19 cadets in the military academy were court-martialed as a result. This is 100% true.
- Super unhealthy. A four-ounce, store-bought cup of eggnog has something like 170 calories and over 70 mg of cholesterol, also known as a quarter of your recommended daily allowance.
- Can really only be consumed once a year. I mean, sure, you can make eggnog whenever you damn well please, but that doesn’t mean you should.
But in spite of all the calories, mustaches, and violent historical uprisings, eggnog is guaranteed to put you in a festive mood. So go forth in this eggnog-filled world, secure in the knowledge that you’re drinking the stuff of champions, and have a happy holiday!